I Won't Say It's Not Complicated
by acciorock
Summary: Patched together friends, Severus and Lily face obstacles in their sixth year at Hogwarts that impact their friendship. Between James Potter and NEWT level classes, the duo enters a love triangle and fierce fight for their friendship. SeverusLilyJames
1. Some Kind of Filth

**DISCLAIMER: **Harry Potter isn't mine. I'm just using him for you entertainment. )

**A/N: **You'll have to forgive the first bit of drama – I needed something to fight the current JKR created with DH. The story isn't _entirely_ compliable with DH – but since when have we ever really followed all the rules?

**TITLE: **I Won't Say it's Not Complicated

**CHAPTER:** 1. Some Kind of Filth

* * *

It was a slow rain. One of those drizzles that seems to seep in through your head and enter your thoughts, purifying them and making room for a new light. Maybe that, Lily thought later that night, was why she forgave so easily. She'd always loved the rain – always thought it was a little bit of everything all rolled into one: an escape, a cleansing, a dramatic climax, and a place of peace. During the monsoon season, that summer, they'd gotten a lot of rain. Every time the soft droplets of wonder fell from the sky, she'd abandon the dishes or the game of cards she was playing with her sister, Petunia; she'd put down the book she was reading on her bed or put away the letter she was writing to a friend, and walk outside to look up at the dark sky with only the moon to light up the rain.

And so that night was just like the rest. She heard the clap of thunder and then the silence with only the pitter patter of rain hitting her bedroom window, and walked outside.

Her feet took her towards the small playground where she'd spent the majority of her time as a child, where she'd learned so much and laughed so often. She sat down on one of the swings and wrapped her arms around the cool metal chains. She sighed and looked around her surroundings.

She hadn't had much of an eventful summer so far. It was rather lonely, really. She was due to begin her sixth year at Hogwarts in four weeks' time and for some reason she wasn't too excited. Everything had been different since the last few days of the previous year.

Lily turned her head upward to look at the falling rain, letting the drops slide down her cheeks and towards her neck. She began to swing slowly, her feet dragging in the wet sand beneath her, her body limp with tiredness. She just couldn't figure out where the sadness was coming from – why she felt so alone and weak that summer.

She allowed her thoughts to wander as she stared out at the park, until she heard the crunch of shoes on gravel and looked up. Her eyes met those of a familiar face – his black hair slick with rain, his face sallow. They stared at each other for a minute, before he finally spoke, fidgeting as he did so.

"I'm sorry – I'll leave… I didn't know you were here and I just… um…." His face looked apologetic, and he turned around, beginning to walk away.

"No. No, it's alright. You can stay," she said, watching his back.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes."

He opened and closed his mouth a few times, unable to grasp enough words to make a sentence. He gave up after a moment, and took the empty swing next to her.

"How've you been, Severus?" she asked quietly, staring at her feet.

"I've been alright," he responded, taking in her appearance. Her deep red hair was wet, hanging loosely around her face, concealing her expression from him. "And you?"

"I've been alright," she said with a small smile.

They sat in silence, both unsure of what to say.

"It's been such a slow summer," Lily said. "Every day I wake up and go about the same routine, and it's not until the afternoon when my parents are away and Tuney's off someplace that I realize I haven't worked on my summer assignments. So I pull them out and work on them, and when I touch my Potions book… when I look down at the ingredients and see what Slughorn wants us to be prepared to do this year… I… I just…" she trailed off, unable to finish her sentence. She glanced at her companion, her forehead wrinkled in confusion. She opened her mouth again, but decided against speaking, instead looking away.

"Lily," Snape began, "I-"

"What happened, Sev? In what time between laughing on these very swings, talking in the hallways, working together in Potions, going to Hogsmeade together and all that other friend stuff – when did you become this – this – this person who I don't know?" she asked. She was looking at him now, her eyes straining against tears and her voice cracking. "Why did you say what you said? When – when did you _change_? Was it something I did? Is there just – Merlin, I can't believe I – what happened?" she asked weakly.

Snape's lips worked their way into a sad frown as he watched Lily fight against her own thoughts. She looked at him expectantly, waiting for an answer.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?! What kind of rubbish is that?"

"You were my best friend, Lily! And people gave us crap for that – they never left us alone. You're a Gryffindor and I'm a bloody fucking Slytherin! It was all fine until those Marauders decided to poke their nose in on our friendship and when my housemates decided that you were – were – were some sort of filth. That day by the lake I just snapped – everyone was watching us and I was – I don't even know what I was. I didn't mean it – I was just mad and fed up with everyone and that _bloody Potter_! He's just such a hotshot and he wanted you! I was mad, alright? I said what I said out of hurt and anger – never out of sense or my heart." He paused to take a breath. "I don't know what I've become," he continue, his voice flat. "I started to lose you and I needed a group… only you ever managed to understand me. But you walked away so often… so I joined up. I'm sorry, Lily," he added after a moment.

Tears were sliding down her face – only Snape didn't know it. The rain was still slowly coming down, washing away everything, leaving only memories of hot summer days with him, laughing and playing and sharing secrets and making promises. She looked at him.

"Will you forgive me?" he asked quietly.

She bit her lip and nodded before wrapping her arms around his neck and sobbing into his already wet shirt. He softened as he wrapped his arms around her and glanced up at the rain. He sighed and thanked Merlin that she'd forgiven him – that there was still some shred of hope left to his name.

They stood there for a minute before Lily backed away, wiping her nose.

"It's getting late," she said.

"When has that ever stopped us before?" he asked.

She gave a small laugh. "Never, I suppose… but I'm drenched." She lifted her arms to show him her clothes which were sopping wet.

"Can we do something tomorrow?"

"I suppose. Just drop by sometime in the afternoon?"

"Alright."

'Good night, Severus," she said.

"Good night, Lily."

- - - - - - - - - -

Later the next afternoon, Severus Snape stood on the Evans' front porch and rang their doorbell. He stood patiently, waiting for Lily to open the door. When the door swung open, however, he looked towards the horsey face of Lily's sister, Petunia.

"Oh," she sneered, looking at him with utmost disgust. "It's you."

"Is Lily here?" he asked, his face expressionless and his tone flat.

"Yes, she's upstairs."

"May I see her?" he asked irritably.

"Be my guest – I don't know if she's even up yet." Petunia swung the door open farther and allowed him to enter, closing the door with a snap behind him and trotting off towards the living room.

Snape walked up the stairs and found the second door on his left. He knocked upon its white wood surface. When no one answered, he knocked again. After waiting a moment, he pushed open the door and saw Lily's very familiar room.

The walls were yellow. There were posters, pictures and Gryffindor banners hanging from the walls, and a black ceiling fan moving slowly above him. To his left there were two tall white bookcases, full of books of all sorts – Muggle stories and children's books, spell books, yearbooks, everything. Between the two bookcases was a white desk that was littered with books, parchment and quills. To his right was an elegant wardrobe, with a mirror to its right. Atop the wardrobe was a cage that housed Lily's owl, Hopscotch. Opposite the wardrobe was a large window with no curtains that faced the neighbors' house. In front of him was a queen-sized bed with a green duvet, precisely the same color of Lily's eyes, and between the sheets laid a sleeping Lily.

He approached her bed with caution and upon seeing her sleeping, he smiled. He sat down on the bed and put his hand on her shoulder to gently shake her awake.

"Lily," he whispered. "Liiiiiily."

"Mhmmmm…" she mumbled, rolling over onto her back, her hair falling over her face.

"Liiilyy," he said a bit more loudly, shaking her leg.

"Alright, alright," she grumbled, "Geez, mum, I'm up." She rolled over onto her side.

Snape smiled. "Lily."

"Ugghhhhh." Lily finally sat up, rubbing her eyes. "It's too early…" she moaned, before looking to see who had woken her up. "Severus!" she exclaimed, pulling her sheets up to cover her sleepwear.

"Sorry," he apologized, "I didn't mean to startle you."

"No, it's alright." She looked at him for a minute before crawling out of bed. Snape's eyes followed her to take in her appearance. She was wearing short green cotton pajama bottoms and a gray tank top. Her long tan legs seemed so stretch out forever from her bottoms, and her equally tan arms moved like an artist's paintbrush as she pulled her hair up in a pony tail, exposing her belly to his eyes. He gulped. _No_, he thought,_ she's just a friend. Don't think that._ He looked away.

"Just let me change and brush my teeth – I'll be right back," she said as she walked out of the room with her clothes.

"So what would you like to do?" Lily asked fifteen minutes later when she returned to her room.

"Anything, I s'pose," Snape said.

"How 'bout a game of Wizard's Chess?" she proposed. He nodded in agreement.

They passed the next few hours eating random items out of the pantry and playing Wizard's Chess. By evening it was time for Severus to return home for dinner and so they said their goodbyes, had dinner with their families and crawled into bed.

**

* * *

**

**A/N: **Next chapter is _so_ much better, I swear.


	2. Green vs Gold

**A/N: **Raaawr… pinecones.

**CHAPTER:** Green vs. Gold

* * *

The remaining weeks of summer passed relatively uneventfully. When the first of September arrived, Severus and Lily arrived at King's Cross Station together to board the Hogwarts Express on Platform 9 3/4.

"Something," Lily said, as she stared at the solid barrier dividing her from the Wizarding world, "about running at a brick wall still irks me after all these years."

"Really?" Severus asked. "To me it's just like taking a shower – it feels like one, too."

"And how might you know what that feels like, Snivellus, when you never _take_ showers?" asked a drawling voice from behind them.

Lily gritted her teeth. She recognized the voice of the person who spoke – and she knew just who might be in his tow.

"Oh, Merlin," laughed another voice Lily recognized, "that one _never_ freaking gets old…."

"Potter, I'm really getting sick of your arrogance!" Lily snapped.

"What? It wasn't me who said it – Sirius did!" James said, his eyes wide as he pointed to his best mate.

"Oh come off it, Prongs, you can't honestly say you weren't thinking it, too," Sirius scoffed. James threw him a threatening look.

"Why don't you just leave us the bloody hell alone and bugger off?" Lily asked angrily.

"As you wish, my dear ma'am," James said politely, lifting a pretend hat from his head and bowing himself out and through the platform.

"Arrogant prick – I honestly can't believe he's a Gryffindor," Lily muttered. She glanced at her friend. "Sorry, Severus – what they said wasn't true, you know that, don't you?"

He nodded. "That doesn't change what sodding dick faces they are, though." Lily laughed and nodded in agreement. "Shall we?" he asked a moment later, gesturing to the solid wall.

"We shall," she said, smiling, then, following his lead, she ran through the wall. She moved out of the way then stopped, smiling at the scarlet train that stood before her.

"Want to find a compartment?" Severus asked.

"Oh, I wish I could – but I've got to go to the Prefects' carriage first. Would you like to find one for us, and I can meet up with you in a bit?" she asked, her forehead wrinkled apologetically.

"Sure," he replied, feeling a bit crestfallen. He watched Lily walk away, sighing. He turned and walked down the small and crowded hallway, peaking in through windows to find an empty compartment. Finally he found one and stowed his bags.

As the train began to move, the compartment door slid open. He glanced up, hoping it was Lily. Instead, it was Mulciber and Avery with some other Slytherin seventh years he'd only known in passing.

"Snape," Avery said, nodding in his direction.

"Avery."

The boys settled in around him, taking up the space quickly with their broad builds.

"Can't wait for next year," one of the older boys said. "That's when the fun will really begin."

"The fun?" asked another seventh year.

"Yeah – haven't you heard? That's when He's planning on really getting to work. He's lying low right now… making plans… next year we get to put our hands in the mud and play the game." He grinned mischievously.

"Voldemort?" Severus implored.

"Of course Voldemort, you dimwit," said Mulciber with a laugh. "The Dark Lord's rise to power next year will have all filth down at our trainers, begging for mercy."

"All those dirty little Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs – some of the Ravenclaws, too – they'll all be gone once he puts us on the job," Avery whispered dramatically.

"Oh yes, Mudbloods and blood traitors alike – oooh, I can't wait for it… especially when Greyback comes 'round," Mulciber agreed.

"You're joining up, aren't you, Snape?" asked one of the boys.

"I've been considering it, I suppose," Severus mumbled.

"You don't consider it, Snape," Avery snarled at him. "You do it – you stand in tow with some of the most powerful Wizards of our kind and you get to taste the _glory_." Snape considered this. "It'd be an excellent career choice – a real way to put your talents to the test," he added with a sickening smile. "You join up," he whispered, "and you get this." Avery pulled up his sleeve and showed him a faded black tattoo on his left forearm. A serpent slithered in and out of the mouth of a pale skull. Severus admired it.

"The Dark Mark," he whispered.

"The one and only," said Mulciber as all the boys watched the snake in awe until Avery yanked down his sleeve.

As the boys resettled themselves, Snape saw a curtain of red hair in front of the compartment window. Lily glanced in at him, and, seeing the small room full, shrugged and walked on.

"Dammit," Snape cursed, kicking himself inside. He stood up and hurried out into the hall. After the door closed, he called, "Lily! Lily, wait!" He ran to catch up with her. "I'm sorry – they just took the seats," he said when she turned to face him.

"It's fine, Severus – they wouldn't want me in there anyway. I think I'll just go and find some of my friends in a different compartment. I'll see you, maybe, after the feast? Alright, bye." She gave him a small wave and walked on, leaving him with no response.

He sighed, heading back to the compartment full of Slytherins who spat on his friendship with Lily. No one seemed to understand what they had – all they saw were the colors of their houses and how for centuries the two House colors never mingled and instead hexed each other in the hallways and beat each other at Quidditch. He wished that they both had ended up in Slytherin like he'd hoped for on the train before their first year.

But alas, cruel and determined fate kept them apart, creating more and more reasons for Severus to constantly feel lonely and misunderstood. That was why, he told himself later, he would return to the compartment and carry on with a conversation about the Dark Lord and his rise to power, considering more the possibility of being a Death Eater.

- - - - - - - - - -

Lily walked up and down the entire distance of the train three times, attempting to find an empty seat. Even her best female friends didn't save her a seat on the train. Not even the first years had a small bit of space to spare for her in their compartment. The only compartment that held an empty seat for her was the one occupied by the four Marauders which she despised. She stood a few feet away from their compartment, fighting a battle with herself.

_I would rather stand,_ she thought, _than sit in the same breathing space as James Potter or Sirius Black_. But the logical side fought through her stubbornness, and she opened the door with great remorse.

The four boys, who'd been discussing in hurried tones (well, three, since all Peter Pettigrew did was nod and mumble in agreement), silenced themselves immediately and looked up as Lily entered their space.

"Evans!" James said enthusiastically. "Come to give me a kiss, have you?" he asked with a smirk. Lily glared daggers at him before sitting down beside Remus. She pulled out her copy of _Standard Book of Spells, Grade Six_ and began to read without another glance at the boys.

"Remus, mate," said Sirius, "do you mind swapping me spots for a minute?"

"I don't think that'd be wise, no," Remus replied without looking up from his own book.

"Alright, then I guess I'll just have to sit on your lap."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, but I would." Sirius got up and wiggled his buttocks in front of his friend's disgusted face before plopping down on his lap.

"Argh, gerroff!" Remus said, pushing his friend off of him and sitting down opposite Lily.

"Much better, thanks, Moony," Sirius said happily. "Now, Evans," he directed his attention towards Lily, "what've you got against ole Jamsie here?" Lily turned the page. "Oh, so you feel that you're not good enough for him," Sirius nodded and stroked his invisible beard, "I see, I see… well he doesn't mind looks, really… he goes for the personality." Lily snorted. "And from what I've heard from dear Prongs – you've got an amazing personality, and quite a temper, too." Lily raised her eyes over her book to stare at Sirius, her left brow cocked. "So, really, you should quit beating yourself up about it and just say to yourself, 'James will see me for what I really am – who cares how I look?'" Sirius was now talking animatedly with his hands, not even looking at Lily, but instead at his friends, as if they were listening intently and taking notes. "Really, Evans, it's alright." He patted her on the back.

Lily rolled her eyes and flipped the page again, continuing reading.

"Ah, Prongs, I tried," Sirius said, before getting up to trade seats with James.

"Evans," James purred into her ear. "Why don't we just settle our differences and go on a date, eh?" He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "You know I fancy you – why don't you just go on one date? One teensy weensy little date?"

"I suggest, Potter," Lily said as calmly as if she were discussing the weather, "that you remove your arm from my shoulders, or you'll have to grope girls with _one_ hand in the future."

"Oh, so harsh – didn't your parents ever teach you to be kind?" James said, feigning hurt.

"You have five seconds, Potter."

"You're playing hard to get, I understand, but you don't have to be so vicious – really, is this how you treat all the blokes who run after you?"

"Five-"

"I mean, really, that's no way to-"

"-Four-"

"-Make a good impression because really-"

"-Three-"

"-You'll never find yourself a companion in life if you-"

"-Two-"

"-Keep all this up, so really, Evans – just do it. For yourself. For your future."

"-One-"

"Yeeeeeow!!" James screamed, jumping out of the seat and clutching at his hand which was burning as if just scalded by a hot stove. "Merlin's beard, oh Lord, dear buggering—AGHHH!" James whimpered and looked up towards the ceiling, his eyes watering. None of his friends looked up.

"Thank you, Potter," Lily said sweetly as he sat down and conjured a bucket of ice to put his hand in.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Where's James?" asked Lily's friend, Alice, as she sat down next her.

"In the Hospital Wing," replied Sirius, who was sitting just a few spots down from them and overheard Alice's question.

"What ever for?"

"Ask your friend," Sirius said, nodding in Lily's direction.

"What happened, Lily?"

"I was merely helping him be a gentleman, is all," she replied as she heaped some mashed potatoes onto her plate. Alice rolled her eyes and didn't respond; she knew of the relationship between James Potter and her friend – more often than not he usually deserved what he got, but if only Lily could open her eyes, she would see that he wasn't half bad.

- - - - - - - - - -

As the crowd of numerous Hogwarts students mobbed together on their way out of the Great Hall, it became very much apparent to Severus that he wasn't going to be able to see Lily. He saw her shepherding and leading first years to the Gryffindor common room, calling, "First years! This way, first years! Gryffindor this way! Follow me, please!" He grumbled at the fact that she was a Prefect – it always managed to get in the way of their time together – especially the previous year. When they were supposed to meet in the library or up in the deserted seventh floor corridor, she always had to cancel for patrol or Prefect meetings or some rubbish that Severus couldn't completely understand. While Slytherins were some of the sharpest crayons in the box, they were also some of the most ignorant to rules. While they remained quiet throughout lessons, they were typically caught doing inappropriate things. This landed Severus with the inability to appreciate Lily's Prefect duties.

He stood still in his spot until he saw her hair disappear in the crowd before he trudged down to the dungeons. His own House's Prefects were herding their new housemates around them; he noticed there were much fewer new Slytherins compared to the remaining Houses.

As he walked down the steps behind the first years, he felt the cold chill rush over him. The dungeons never were very warm – they were under the Black Lake, after all. Why would anyone want to have this as their common room? To sleep underneath the lake and never be warm, especially in the winter? Snape wondered what it would be like to be in the Gryffindor common room, which was high above the grounds where their rooms actually had windows that overlooked the very lake he slept under. He thought of the warmth they must have in the winter and the sunshine that would splay through their windows every morning… Merlin, who wouldn't want to be a Gryffindor? They had it all – the brains, the brawn, the courage, the fame.

Severus slapped himself out of his reverie. What was he thinking? Slytherin was where he belonged – the color and the stereotype both seemed to fit him. The only problem was that the one girl he wanted, he couldn't have. If he was in any other House he could openly express his feelings for her – he could _have_ her as his own without being threatened or teased by it. All he needed was a change of colors – if he didn't bare the Slytherin crest on his robes, he would have so many more opportunities at his feet.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Sixth years!" McGonagall called down the Gryffindor table the next morning. "Have your OWLs out so I can help you with your schedules!" Their Head of House walked down the table with a basket full of parchment, pausing to speak with each individual sixth year student.

"I wish I'd failed my OWLs," James grumbled as McGonagall took his scores from him and made out his schedule. "This way I'm _bound_ to have loads of work and classes… I won't have a single minute off."

"Excellent job, Mr. Potter," McGonagall said stiffly. "An 'Outstanding' in Transfiguration – you're one of very few who earned that mark. Now get off to class." She handed him his schedule. He groaned. He had double Potions that morning – something that seemed regular since his first year at Hogwarts.

"You have double Potions?" James asked sourly as Sirius approached him.

"Nah, I only got an 'Acceptable' and Slughorn won't take anything below 'Exceeds Expectations.' It's alright though," he added with a grin, "I get a study period – go me. See ya in Transfiguration, mate." James watched as his friend headed back up to the common room.

On his way out of the Great Hall he caught up with Remus. "You don't have double Potions this morning by any chance, do you?" he asked hopefully.

"No, I'm not taking Potions this year – you know I've always been a dud with it."

"No you haven't. You've always done better than Sirius – and he got an 'Acceptable' on his Potions OWL."

"Yes, well, I did, too. It doesn't bother me too much, though, seeing as I don't wish to pursue a career involving Potions anyway… not that anyone would ever hire _me_ knowing what I am…" he trailed off.

"Oh come off it, Moony. Your furry little problem wouldn't make someone not want to hire you! You've got brains! And under that sweater vest of yours you've got a heart and a _soul_."

"Thanks, James, but I'm still not taking Potions."

"Fine," he pouted. "What _are_ you taking?"

"Arithmacy and Ancient Runes this morning."

"Oh gag me – I think I'll much better enjoy double Potions with Slytherins. See you, mate."

"See you."

- - - - - - - - - -

By the time James reached Slughorn's room, the bell was ringing and everyone had already found their partners. To James's delight, Lily was in the class with him. His delight, however, was quickly drained when he saw her partner: Snape. He grumbled and vowed to do something to break up the pair so he instead could have Lily as his partner. But, for the time being he sat down beside a shy Ravenclaw boy named Wesley Travers, who, incidentally enough, was seated behind Lily and Snape.

"Alright, quiet down, quiet down!" boomed the jolly voice of Professor Slughorn. "Now, as this is your first day, I'd like you all to take out your copies of _Advanced Potion Making _and decide with your partner what you would like to make. You're all going to make up some exciting potions to show me what real talent you possess!" The man smiled jovially before returning to his spot behind his desk, popping a crystallized pineapple into his mouth as he did so.

"What would you like to make, Lily?" Severus asked her.

"Hmm… what's something a bit difficult that we can impress ole Sluggy with?" she asked with a smile.

"Uhh…" Snape began flipping through his copy of _Advanced Potion Making_. "There's the Draught of Living Death… an Elixir of Restful Ease (whatever that is)… a Love Potion-"

"Oh! Let's do that one!" Lily said eagerly. "He wouldn't expect that at all!"

"Okay. I'll go get the ingredients from the store cupboard," Severus said as he walked off to get supplies.

"I think we should do a Wide-Eyed Potion," Wesley said to James. "The book says here that it's supposed to 'offer twenty-four hours of wide-eyed alertness to keep your body awake and refreshed throughout the day.' Doesn't that sound impressive?"

"Sure, why not? It might come in handy, too, some day," James said as he watched Snape return to his and Lily's cauldron, his arms laden with ingredients. "I'll go get the stuff – what do we need?"

"Um, two unicorn hairs, a coffee bean, and a… you might as well just take the book," Wesley handed the book over to him; "there's a lot of ingredients."

James took the book and went off in search of some of the most bizarre ingredients he'd ever heard of. When he returned he and Wesley set to work. He nearly ruined the potion a few times by his constant urge to watch Evans and Snape work on their potion together – he couldn't help but envy the bloke he typically despised and laughed at. His insides twisted and burned like fire, though, when he heard her laugh – her beautiful, unique laugh – at something Snape had said. What could _he_ have said to make her laugh? Nothing James ever managed to say could make Evans laugh.

Throughout the lesson James grew more and more troubled. But at the end of the two hour block, Slughorn called a halt to his pupils' work and walked by to inspect the cauldrons. He nodded in approval at most of the creations until he came to James's and Wesley's potion.

"Ah… the Wide-Eyed Potion… not one with too fabulous a name, but a definite aid in last minute study sessions and a great way to stay awake throughout boring lessons… excellent job, boys – I see you've got an imagination!" Slughorn grinned broadly at them, then moved onto the only Love Potion in the room: Evans's and Snape's.

"A love potion," he said quietly. "How unique… and," he grabbed a wooden spoon and stirred the mixture, "properly brewed. Miss Evans," he asked suddenly, "could you please tell me what you smell?"

"Er…" she inhaled deeply. "I smell a deep musky scent… like aftershave… something like a strawberry cake my mum once made me for my birthday and… rain."

"I see, thank you."

"You're welcome, sir."

"And Mr. Snape – what might you smell?" he inquired of Severus.

"I smell – uh… I smell something light and fruity… and… that's pretty much it."

"Well, this might just be one of the best potions I've seen today – that and the Wide-Eyed one… good work today, everyone! See you next lesson!" he added as the bell rang for dismissal.

After cleaning up his area, James took off to find his mates before heading to Transfiguration. Lily watched him go before turning to Severus and asking, "What do you have next, Sev?"

"Defense against the Dark Arts," he replied. "And you?"

"Transfiguration."

"Oh, well I guess I'll see you 'round, then?"

"Most definitely." Lily smiled.


	3. Congregations

**A/N: **Sorry for the shortness and lateness! Stupid school and homework…

**Chapter Three: **Congregations

* * *

It was a week before their first weekend trip to Hogsmeade and the students in Professor Slughorn's Potions class were growing restless. They were all gathered around their cauldrons on a hot Tuesday afternoon brewing up Fire Protection Potions as the clock above their heads seemed to tick slower than usual.

"Ugh," moaned Lily, "I swear – did someone mess with that clock?" She looked at Severus. "The Marauders did it all the time in third year… I wouldn't be surprised if Potter did it…" she glanced behind her to see Wesley and James working studiously on their potion.

"I think you're just bored, Lily," Severus laughed. "But if you'd like to, you could just look at _my_ watch." He offered her his wrist to look at the time. She groaned upon looking at it. He smiled. "I know a way you could keep busy," he suggested with a smirk.

"What's that?"

He slid a cutting board, knife and some long blue roots over to her. "Cut up those roots."

Lily laughed. "Gosh, you're mean – when I want more than anything is to leave, you make me realize that I still have to _work_."

"Welcome to the real world."

They stood in silence as Lily chopped up the roots and Severus added some unicorn blood to the potion. Just as he added a pinch of a bezoar to the cauldron, however, their potion disappeared and instead, a massive bouquet of red roses appeared, glisteningly bright, with a small card attached to a stem.

Lily jumped back in surprise, clutching the knife in her hand with ferocity. Severus, too, jumped back, but his surprise left him quickly as his eyes narrowed in anger and focused on the name on the card: _Lily_.

"It's for you," he said with a slight growl.

Lily's eyes were wide as she looked at him. "Open it," she said, nodding towards the card. "My hands are dirty," she added, which was true.

Severus grumbled, but picked up the card and read it. His eyes narrowed with the intake of each word.

_Lily— My favorite flower out of the beds, I picked you these roses to show you my love. Would you please show your gratitude and honor by being my date to Hogsmeade this Saturday? Love, James_

A vein above Severus's right temple twitched. He glanced up to see James glaring at him, obviously mad at having read the card intended for Lily.

"What's it say?" Lily asked. Severus offered her the card, averting his eyes from Potter's, watching as she took it in the same hand that held the sharp knife. Her eyes scanned over the words, her eyebrows knitting together with each passing second. After she'd finished, she turned around calmly to face James.

"What's this?" she asked him, brandishing the card and using the knife to point to the roses.

"A token of my love for you, of course," James replied. "And a card, asking you on a date."

Lily glared at him. "And what," she asked, "makes you think that I'd be willing to go out with you?"

James grinned. "Because, Evans, you secretly have," he leaned in a bit closer to her and lowered his voice, "an undying love for me and complete desire to be with me."

Lily screamed in rage and stabbed the knife she was holding into the table, narrowly missing the top of James's hand. "POTTER!" she roared. "YOU ARROGANT PRICK! WHEN WILL YOU REALIZE THAT I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ARSE ABOUT YOU?! JUST BUGGER OFF AND _LEAVE ME ALONE!_"

Her face matched the color of her hair and her beautiful green eyes, James noticed, were wide in anger. He backed away slightly from her, his heart sinking. Typically people didn't care about rat's arses anyways (especially when they looked like Peter's), but her tone hurt more than the pain he would have faced if her knife had made contact with his flesh. He kept his eyes locked with hers until she turned around to face Severus and await the questions of Slughorn. When his eyes came in contact with her back, he finally allowed them to droop down to the table. He sighed before glancing over at Wesley.

"What," he moaned quietly, "do I always do _wrong_?" he asked no one in particular.

"Well, er, I think your tongue seems to dig your own grave," Wesley said as he dumped some roots into their potion. "And you just ruined their assignment," he added, as he watched their potion bubble. James watched as Wesley stirred it, before giving a dry sob and letting his face fall with a thud to the table.

- - - - -

"Professor Slughorn, I'm sorry," Lily pleaded. "It was Potter's fault – he transfigured our potion into this – this – this stupid bunch of roses! Professor, please don't grade us awfully. We can do it again," she added.

Lily and Severus were standing opposite Slughorn's desk after class, speaking with him about the 'minor' interruption that had occurred earlier. As Severus watched her plead, he couldn't help but feel a small smile creep up towards his lips from his cheeks at the idea of having to go down to one of the private dungeons with Lily and re-do a potion which would take an hour or two to complete. He began to wonder if he could persuade Lily to make the potion with him on Saturday, rather than going to Hogsmeade, so most of Hogwarts would be empty and they could be sort-of alone together.

"No, Miss Evans," said Slughorn, "it isn't necessary that you two re-brew your potion."

Severus frowned. The bubble that was playing his daydream suddenly popped above his head. He glared at Slughorn.

"I know," Slughorn continued, "that you both are exceptionally bright students and _especially_ adept at potions. I'll just dock Mr. Potter a few points for ruining your grade. You needn't worry." He smiled at them. "You're free to go."

As he and Lily traipsed up the dungeon steps on their way to Herbology, they talked of Lily's outburst.

"That little toe rag," she said to him, "I just can't believe it – when will he ever _stop_?"

Severus nodded but said nothing.

As they entered the Entrance Hall, Lily stopped and turned to face him. "We're still going to Hogsmeade together, right?" she asked him. He was shocked at her question.

"Er – what?" he asked.

"We always go to Hogsmeade together for the first trip – are we doing that again this year or are you going with your mates?"

"Oh," he said. Mulciber and Nott had wanted him to go with them to Hogsmeade and meet up with some people working for the Dark Lord. He hadn't committed himself to them, but he knew if he was going to show his face in Hogsmeade, he'd better be with them. "Er, um – Nott wants me to go with him and Mulciber to, er, do something." He knew he couldn't be honest with Lily. He knew she'd disapprove.

Lily's smile faded to a frown. "Well that's alright, I s'pose," she mumbled. "Maybe we can just catch up for drinks or something while we're there?"

"Yeah, if this thing doesn't take the whole day – definitely." He knew he wasn't going to be able to see Lily at all on their trip. Avery was watching him closely – monitoring his every move, he'd told him one night in their dormitory, to see if he was worthy of being a Death Eater. If he thought he was – then Snape would be referred to Voldemort.

- - - - -

"Ah, look at that, we're surrounded," Morwena said with a laugh, observing the males in the room. "I love life."

"They really aren't that nice looking," added the girls' friend, Emily.

Alice scoffed. "Yeah, right – look at that gorgeous young Wizard, right over there." She lifted her chin in the direction of the farthest barstool in The Three Broomsticks.

"You're just saying that because you like him," Lily said with a smile.

"I do not!" Alice protested.

"Alice," Morwena said. "You're in love with Longbottom – just face it." As they walked past him on their way to an empty table, she gave her friend a push in his direction. Alice crashed into his shoulder, making him spill his butterbeer, and sputter with apologies until looking at her fully.

As the girls sat down, Lily smiled. "I wish he'd just pluck up the courage and ask her out already."

"Yeah," said Emily, "maybe he could borrow some courage from Potter." The girls laughed. Lily scowled.

"Oh, you know we're kidding," Morwena said. Lily glared at her friend before giving into a grin. They ordered drinks and sat talking about various topics until they'd finished and Alice joined them, begging to leave.

"Why do you need to leave?" Emily asked.

"Please," Alice begged, her eyes swimming with tears. "We need to leave, _right now_."

"What happened?" Lily asked.

"I just really embarrassed myself, now let's _go_," she said with emphasis, grabbing Lily's arm and tugging her out of the bar, the other girls behind them.

Lily had barely opened her mouth to demand details on what happened with Frank, however, when they stumbled into some unfriendly sneering faces.

"Mudblood," spat Bellatrix Black, her wand out and pointing menacingly at Lily.

- - - - -

His lips twitched but they didn't part. His jaw clenched and he felt his teeth grinding on each other, but he didn't lighten the pressure. His right temple was throbbing but he ignored it. He stared straight ahead, refusing to allow his eyes their desire to look at the person on the ground before him.

He'd been guilted, pressured, bullied and threatened into following Nott and Mulciber to the cave just out past Hogsmeade. They taunted him and made sure he woke up with them, left with them, and arrived with them. He wanted more than anything to sit with Lily beside the fountain in the center of Hogsmeade and talk to her, laugh with her, spend time with her, anything with her – rather than standing in the cold cave, scared and worried as sweat trickled down his legs. He tried to block out images of Lily from his mind so no one could use Legilimens against him. So far, however, nothing was working. The soft, smooth, and cold words of one of the older boys stabbed at his ears, reminding him of Lily with every word spoken.

"Mudblood," hissed the older boy. "You filthy scum!" He flicked his wand and the person on the floor screeched in pain. The boys surrounding them laughed. Severus clenched his fist and stared ahead.

"SNAPE!" snapped the leader of the group. Severus's eyes went to those of the person speaking.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Get some practice," the leader snarled.

"Wh-what?" Snape asked.

"You heard me – do it!"

Snape shook as he took his wand from the pocket of his robes. He closed his eyes as a voice that he knew to be his said loudly, "Crucio!"

- - - - -

"Black," Lily snarled. Her wand was out now, as she felt her friends whip theirs out, too, and stand in a line of power.

"What do you want?" snapped Morwena.

"I _want_," Bellatrix said sweetly, "to let Miss Mudblood here know she ought not to fraternize with blood purer than hers."

"Then why are you talking to her?" Alice growled.

"Because I can brush my teeth after this… encounter… whereas pretty here can't remove her blood." The girls behind Bellatrix had their wands out and were glaring.

"I don't fraternize with your lot, Black," Lily said. "So why bother threatening me?"

"Oh, but darling, you do. I've seen you."

"Who from your House do I talk to?" Lily spat, finding the answer before she finished her sentence. Her eyes gave her away.

"Yes, pretty, I know you know who I'm talking about. So a warning: you really shouldn't be socializing with Slytherins – you shouldn't even be breathing our air. You should be thanking your lucky stars we even let you do that." Lily glowered.

"Come, girls," Bellatrix said. "We're already late – we mustn't waste our time here."

She and her posse of friends walked off, leaving Lily with a rock at the bottom of her stomach.

"I'm really getting sick of that bitch," Emily said.

"We all are," said the other girls.

- - - - -

A feminine laugh exploded from the entrance to the cave.

"Oh, little Severus finally used his wand like a _big boy_," sneered Bellatrix. "Good job, boy, you've only got a tiny bit of your tasks completed." She smiled at him, running her index finger along his jaw. A chill ran down his spine. She grinned before walking off to stand beside Lestrange.

"You may leave," said Lestrange. "We have no more use for you."

The boys shuffled out of the cave, Severus being the last to leave. He glanced back to see Bellatrix entwine her fingers in Lestrange's hair as his lips made contact with her neck. Severus looked away quickly before walking down the hill and back towards Hogsmeade.

- - - - -

"Hello, Wesley," Lily said, coming up to stand beside Wesley Travers in Honeyduke's.

"Hello, Lily," Wesley replied with a smile. "You aren't buying anything?" he asked.

"No, I have too many sweets in my dormitory as it is," she laughed. "I take it you're not either?"

"No, my friends are trying to get some fourth years to go out with them." He grinned. "They're not having much success." Lily laughed.

They stood next to each other for the next twenty minutes, discussing their similarities (they were both muggle born and lived only twenty minutes away from her house) and interests, before their friends pried them apart.

As Lily walked with her friends back towards Hogwarts, they giggled and talked about their plans for the remainder of the evening.

"So, Lily," asked Morwena, "are you ever gonna give Potter a chance?"

Lily snorted. "No – but that Wesley boy's quite a prize."

As Emily opened her mouth to ask if she was going to go on a date with him, they girls passed Severus and his group of Death Eater friends walking back up to the castle. Severus and Lily exchanged glances, Severus lingering too long on Lily's eyes, blocking out the voices of his friends.

"I don't know," Lily said as she looked away from him, "but he's definitely a charming bloke – and a looker, too."

The girls continued their walk as Severus's insides burned with sadness.

- - - - -

_Severus, I want a word with you. Meet me on the third floor corridor tomorrow night at six. Don't be late._

* * *

**A/N:** I know you're all asking some form of "Why?" right now, and I'm sorry. This chapter kinda got thrown together since I decided to stray away from my plot line… oops. Next chapter shall have answers! 


End file.
